Scroll to see the newest member of the endangered species list

Siberian Tiger

Habitat: Russian Far East


Habitat: Southwestern China

Polar Bear

Habitat: Arctic Circle


Habitat: Indonesia and Malaysia

Middle Aged White Male

Habitat: United States of America

Testimony From The Trouble Makers



 The federal government once again has considered legislating against cartoon characters .  Somehow the fine men and women of congress have made a connection between Captain Crunch and children overeating…and listening to Justin Beiber causes acne…and listening to Barbra Streisand causes arthritis.  Excuse me while I delete my Babs and download some Beebs.

Somehow The Bar Was Set Too Low, It Needs To Be Raised!

These Idiots. I Say Let’s Regulate Them.

Standard and Poor’s is at it again, reeking chaos on the level of Thing One and Thing Two.  They have lowered the credit rating of the United States.  According to the Washington Post, the effect of the downgrade “…could push up borrowing costs for the U.S. government, costing taxpayers tens of billions of dollars a year. It could also drive up interest rates for consumers and companies seeking mortgages, credit cards and business loans. “

The people of our nation have struggled long enough with an economy that is on the brink.  Curious thing though, the economy was put on the brink in part by overvalued sub-prime mortgage-backed securities.  And who was responsible for the overrating these mortgage-backed securities…that’s right Standard and Poor’s.

The Grinch who stole the woman’s liberation movement.

Women beware if you hire Gloria Allred as your attorney she will portray you as the helpless victim.  So, women, think twice before you hire Ms. Allred as you will be abandoning the feminist movement and joining Ms. Allred’s Special Victims Unit.

Where are you going to put your piece of the peace prize?

Barack Obama had been in office for a matter of weeks when his name was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize and had yet to complete his first year when the prize was awarded to him.  In the words of the organization Obama was selected “for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples”.  It appears to many, including me, that Bush’s foreign policy, and failure thereof, set the stage forMantel1 Obama’s Nobel Prize.  In the 8 years of the Bush administration among other things the USA created a major military presence in two Mideast countries and ignored international co-operation on many matters including the environment and disarmament.

So if Obama won the prize because he replaced Bush and reversed the foreign policies of the Bush administration than the prize was given to the wrong person.  It should go to the voters who put Obama into office. 

I have made a place on the mantel for my portion of the prize.

Justice the American Way

Polanski Final1

How to read a newspaper.


Since I was a teenager I have had the habit of reading the morning newspaper cover to cover.  There have been some days when I have read two and three newspapers.  In an attempt to establish my expertise I did some math.  I have read easily over 20,000 newspapers.  I have the ink stained finger pads to prove it.  Every day the news should be different.  However soon after I made reading the paper a daily event I began to have the feeling that some articles were being reprinted.

Early on I came to the realization that most of the articles were the same in that they evoke the same emotions in the reader.  In the news sections, international, national and local, the editors are out to scare the reader. In fact you can replace most of the headlines in the news sections with this universal headline, “It’s not safe out there.”  Try it.  Take your favorite newspaper and change to the headline of the lead article to “It’s not safe out there.”headline26

It is not only the news sections where the stories are all the same.  The editors have a different message in the remaining sections. Thus many of the articles in the Sports, Entertainment and Business sections all could have the same headline, “Look Who Just F**ked up”

So this is how to read the newspaper.  Start with the news sections.  After you have gotten a good dose of “it’s not safe out there” and you are left depressed and overwhelmed by pessimism you go to the remaining sections and make yourself feel better knowing that some rich and successful person just screwed up.  I learned schadenfreude from the newspaper.