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Traffic Sign In the Oval Office

Mr. President when did you find the time to sit down and write a book?

I know that it is a children’s book only a few dozen pages and illustrated, but in these times when the country is struggling with massive unemployment, a scary weak economy, rising health costs, rising education costs, not to mention a war half way around the world still claiming the lives of our sons and daughters couldn’t you have waited until you finished your job before you retired to the typewriter?

Please turn around and look out your window.

If I were Paris Hilton’s attorney…

Las Vegas promises “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”  Accompanying this promise are images of people partying.

Paris Hilton takes them up on the invitation.  She goes to Vegas to party.  She parties there.  While partying in Vegas, local police suspect that she is partying and stops the car in which she is a passenger.  They find out that indeed she was partying and they arrest her for partying.  I call that ENTRAPMENT.

Next year on the ballot: viruses are living beings and have the right to vote

Recently I read in a local paper a piece that made me think.  The writer shared with us that on a recent night at 10 pm when she was letting the dogs out for one last time before they were to come in for the night she accidentally stepped on something that crunched.  The crunch under her flip-flops sent pangs of horror though her.  She turned on an outside light and saw that indeed she had crushed a snail.  The author saw nearby a “baby” snail “just as big as a minute” and felt like she had “ruined a family.”  She explains that with age she has gained a respect for life and that she has no business deciding when a life ends.  She admits to having arachnophobia but explains that when she sees a spider she gets a cup and a piece of hard paper and relocates the spider outside the walls of her home.

Most of the time animal rights people take things a little too far.  I object to the projection of human emotions on animals.  I think that it is disrespectful to the animal and very manipulative.  Maybe that mother snail was abusive in which case that baby was grateful for the loss of that parent. And instead of ruining a family the author had given the baby a bright future full of potential.  Now it could grow up to be a snail doctor or snail lawyer.

Where does the author  draw the line?  I wonder when the author gets strep throat if she takes antibiotics.  Bacteria are living.  If she takes the antibiotics she has caused the cessation of a life.

We need to be respectful of all living things but we don’t need to hold a funeral when we kill an insect.

Evolution is a bitch.

Modern man’s ancestors originally walked on all fours.   When man started to use tools he needed his hands to work and thus he started to walk upright on just two of his four limbs.  The muscles of the lower back and stomach however did not have time to evolve and strengthen to the new posture.  In other words man stood up too fast and that hurt his back.

Are you my mother?

France is in the process of enacting legislation that would make it illegal to cover ones face.  It is aimed at outlawing the burka ( As reported in the LA Times.) Don’t worry about Halloween, masks used for festival and holidays will still be legal.  The burka and niqab have always been a troublesome issue for me.  A woman’s face is a very important tool when parenting.  A mother’s smile sends a positive message to a child and on the other hand a mother’s frown lets the child know she is displeased.  Imagine a child coming home from school with a mother’s day card and all the child sees from his mom a face full of blue sheet.

And speaking of school, how does a kid know which mom to go home with at carpool time?

How to protect our oceans

KEEP THEM IN HIGH CHAIRS

UNTIL THEY LEARN

NOT TO SPILL

MR. McKAY

BP Petroleum

Mr. Newman

CEO Transocean

Mr. Probert

Halliburton

If the ‘stache fits….

go lakers

GO LAKERS!

Shame on Comedy Central for empowering extremists

Trey Parker and Matt Stone are national treasures.  I want my children to tune into South Park, and all other TV shows and films created by this talented duo.  Watching South Park my kids have learned tolerance, and acceptance. They have learned to appreciate that handicap people ( Jimmy and Timmy) are just as whole and complete as those who are not handicapped, and that  people no matter their sexual orientation (Big Gay Al and Mr. Garrison) are caring and giving people.  They have learned about the perils of peer pressure from watching Kyle and Stan resist succumbing.  My kids have learned about safe sex from Ms. Chokesondik, they have learned not to be afraid of an extremist named Bin Laden.  And my kids have learned about eternal optimism from Butters, a kid who if locked in a room full of donkey sh*t will happily play knowing that with all that donkey sh*t there has GOT to be a donkey in there somewhere…however if he brings the animal home his parents will probably ground him.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone should never, ever be censored.